We are sitting peacefully in the living room, the lights are dimmed, and the music plays quietly as our voices join together to sing....
One day when Heaven was filled with His praises
One day when sin was as black as could be
Jesus came forth to be born of a Virgin
Dwelt among men, my example is He
Word became flesh and the light shined among us
His glory revealed
Living He loved me, dying He saved me
And buried He carried my sins far away
Rising He justified freely forever
One day He's coming, oh, glorious day, oh, glorious day
One day they led Him up Calvary's mountain
One day they nailed Him to die on a tree
Suffering anguish, despised and rejected
Bearing our sins, my Redeemer is He
Hands that healed nations, stretched out on a tree
And took the nails for me
One day the grave could conceal Him no longer
One day the stone rolled away from the door
Then He arose, over death He had conquered
Now He's ascended, my Lord evermore
Death could not hold Him
The grave could not keep Him from rising again
One day the trumpet will sound for His coming
One day the skies with His glories will shine
Wonderful day, my beloved one bringing
My Savior Jesus is mine
But as I sang the last chorus, I thought of the words a different way....
Living He loved her, dying He saved her
And buried He carried her sins far away
Rising He justified freely forever
One day He's coming, oh, glorious day, oh, glorious day
Glorious day, oh, glorious day
(Glorious Day by Casting Crowns)
We pray for peace for Samantha during these final hours. We are surrounding her with love, singing His praises to her. We are so sad that her life will not be the way we envisioned it for her, but we are so thankful and happy for her to go to her Savior and to be with Him in heaven where there is no more tears or pain.
When I would sit with her in the hospital, especially those first few days in the PICU I would just talk to her. I would read to her from the Bible, read the caringbridge guestbook entries to her. As I read them I would tell her the story of each person who had written it, or at least the people that I knew. I would tell her about the connection we had to that person and the stories I could remember about them. There were so many people that there were connections too from when I was little and I would tell her stories about her mom and I growing up. Some of the people the connection was from my girls and their childhood. I would tell her stories about their adventures. I would tell her the story about finding out she was on the way. I told her about her parents, her family. In some ways I didn't know what else to do. It felt odd to just stare at her and so I would talk to her.
Perhaps God put it on my heart to tell her the stories of a lifetime in her short one. Last night I stayed up with her. I wanted so bad to tell her more stories, but I found myself just snuggling her, kissing her and whispering "I love you" to her over and over again. It was surprising to me how fast 3 hours went by before Stephanie and Travis were up again to give her the next round of meds. A lifetime of stories, a lifetime of snuggles, a lifetime of 'I love yous'.
The funny thing that I don't at all feel as though she is being jipped in this life. Her life has been reaching out to other's through the faith of her family. She will be in heaven which is eternal life. No, it's not her life that being cut short. It's our time with her. I can't pretend to understand what Stephanie and Travis are going through as parents. Their's is not my story to tell. There is no way as a parent to comprehend, I can't, and I'm not going to pretend to try. My faith wants to say that I would be okay with letting one of my girls go to be with Jesus, no matter what time or way He chose for them, but my mother's heart want to scream that it wouldn't be fair, let me go first.
In a small way I am jealous of the joy that is Samantha's very soon. What an amazing glorious day awaits her. I can't wait to meet her in heaven and see her whole and healthy again - perfect. I'm so thankful that the same family that sits in this house tonight singing His praises will be united again one day. We don't know when that day will be for any of us. Lord, come quickly. The pain of this world overwhelms, let the day come where we all can sing again together,
Today the trumpet will sound for His coming
Today the skies with His glories will shine
Wonderful day, my beloved one bringing
My Savior Jesus is mine
Living He loved us, dying He saved us
And buried He carried our sins far away
Rising He justified freely forever
Today we are with Him, oh, glorious day, oh, glorious day
Glorious day, oh, glorious day
Monday, June 27, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Children's Camera!
The girls took the camera and we found a lot of interesting pictures on it, these were the few that actually were of someone or something (other then walls and toys in our house - haha!)
Friday, June 24, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Baby Deer
This little guy lived on our front deck and in the front bushes for about a week after the mother gave birth in our front bushes. It was so very hot that I think the mother was seeking shade for her little one. At frist we were afraid momma had abandoned the baby, but we realized she was always hovering by :0) After about a week our fawn was gone, although we like to pretend we still see it when we see all the new fawns roaming around Elkins Lake :)
Sunday, June 19, 2011
father's day
Hard to believe that we have been here now long enough to celebrate almost every holiday in the year, I think we are down to Independance Day and Labor day. Seems like this year has been a lot of waiting. We are still in the waiting game. Waiting now for recovery....from my surgery, from Mark's surgery, for Samanthas ultimate healing and recovery in heaven. I used to think of myself as a very impatient person, but I am learning the joy and peace that comes from waiting on the Lord, from truly listening to others, to taking the time to just sit and enjoy the moments with those you love or just reading the Bible and letting God's word wash healing over me. Funny thing is I never even prayed for patience (the old joke, don't pray for it or God will give you something to be patient about- ha) it's more the idea that so many things just aren't as important anymore. Somehow the longing for something better....something eternal is on my mind. God has blessed us with our faith and His love and peace in the meantime.
Happy Father's Day!
Happy Father's Day!
Friday, June 17, 2011
Pictures Finally
As I was updating I was watching Rachel love and kiss on Samantha - it was so sweet. We just love that little girl so much! Today nana took me shopping to get Gabie and Rachel dresses for the funeral. Micaiah and Eliya already have dresses that will work, and I didn't think I could bare to shop for that after the fact so we went today. For those of you that follow their caringbridge site you will appreciate that I am 2 for 2 on helping her (sammy) to poop! :) At least I know that it provides some relief for her, which is the goal right now - to keep her comfortable and to love her as much as we can for as long as we can. Thank you for the continued prayers for our family in this.
As far as how we are all doing - Mark is doing well, he will get his stitches out Monday and we'll see what the doctor says then. For now he lays low and is taking it easy, spending most of his day resting. Gabie has fully recovered from her surgery and we are thrilled that it has helped her SO MUCH - she eats so much better now and no longer snores so we are thankful for that. I am down to less then 2 weeks in the wheelchair. I start physical therapy on June 29 and see Dr. Dickson on July 8th.
Thanks to my sister I can now start to catch up on pictures. I have started to upload some and will continue to do so over the next couple days. She was able to download all of our pictures to their computer so that I can get to them for the blog. Thanks Stephanie!
As far as how we are all doing - Mark is doing well, he will get his stitches out Monday and we'll see what the doctor says then. For now he lays low and is taking it easy, spending most of his day resting. Gabie has fully recovered from her surgery and we are thrilled that it has helped her SO MUCH - she eats so much better now and no longer snores so we are thankful for that. I am down to less then 2 weeks in the wheelchair. I start physical therapy on June 29 and see Dr. Dickson on July 8th.
Thanks to my sister I can now start to catch up on pictures. I have started to upload some and will continue to do so over the next couple days. She was able to download all of our pictures to their computer so that I can get to them for the blog. Thanks Stephanie!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Flying By
These last few days have been flying by. Mark has been doing well overall. This morning he was in a lot of pain, but it seems to get better with rest. He sees Dr. Shepard on Monday to get the stitches out and we'll see what he says then. Mark's parents flew home today. I was able to take advantage of the time they were here to spend a lot of extra time with little Samantha. She gradually declines and I know I will miss her snuggles so much when she is gone so I am trying to take advantage of the time that I can with her. It's hard to squeeze a lifetime into such a few weeks, but we enjoy every moment.
This week is also vbs at church so the girls have been enjoying that in the evenings. Micaiah has been learning some new tricks - she gives '5' and waves goodbye a lot - today she was riding on my lap on the wheelchair waving and dad said she looked like she was in a parade float! She also has this cute way of saying "No!" where she says it while shaking her finger at the person or thing she says it too. Why is that word so cute at first and then so not in a few months? Eliya has been a huge help to us, taking on a lot of responsibility to help out, especially helping keep Micaiah out of trouble. Gabie has been very sad lately. She is very worried about Samantha and spends a lot of time just laying on the floor with her blanket and stuffed animal looking sad. Rachel has been enjoying having her sisters home to play with. They have especially been playing a lot of dress-up/make believe which is my favorite to listen to them play.
It's amazing the joy we see in life when we gain some perspective and look at the little things. Each day has such joy and blessings with it.
This week is also vbs at church so the girls have been enjoying that in the evenings. Micaiah has been learning some new tricks - she gives '5' and waves goodbye a lot - today she was riding on my lap on the wheelchair waving and dad said she looked like she was in a parade float! She also has this cute way of saying "No!" where she says it while shaking her finger at the person or thing she says it too. Why is that word so cute at first and then so not in a few months? Eliya has been a huge help to us, taking on a lot of responsibility to help out, especially helping keep Micaiah out of trouble. Gabie has been very sad lately. She is very worried about Samantha and spends a lot of time just laying on the floor with her blanket and stuffed animal looking sad. Rachel has been enjoying having her sisters home to play with. They have especially been playing a lot of dress-up/make believe which is my favorite to listen to them play.
It's amazing the joy we see in life when we gain some perspective and look at the little things. Each day has such joy and blessings with it.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Home
Well it would seem that our busy week has come to a close. Mark is now home and resting well. He has a very stiff neck and some restrictions for awhile, but otherwise he is doing fine. Time will tell how much this surgery will improve things for him, we will hope for the best. Stephanie and Travis even brought Samantha down here tonight so that Mark could have a chance to hold her.
i
On top of daddy coming home we also had church and Sunday school this morning. Then the girls went swimming at a friend's house (thank you so much!) and then to a birthday party. What a busy day!
It seems odd to keep doing the same old (normal) things when life feels anything but normal now. Things like time and dates escape me completely. Sometimes I wonder if I've just been oblivious to how spoiled my life is prior to all of this. I don't mean that in a bad way, just realizing how very very very blessed we are, that although we are walking through trials as a family right now, we have faith, we have Jesus and we know that He is walking with us. Not everyone that is going through trials has peace that passes understanding. Even when the moments happen that I feel so overwhelmed that I almost feel like I can't breath, I still know that I know that I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand on the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. (Job 19:25-27)
In the meantime, we just keep getting through each day, breathing, and I'm so thankful that I don't have to find my meaning in the pain of this world, because my meaning is wrapped up in my God....makes me think of a song by Lifehouse ~
The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you
The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, is there healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on,
I'm barely holdin' on to you
I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be OK
The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain(In the pain) there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on,
I'm barely holdin' on to you
I'm holdin' on,
I'm barely holdin' on to you
i
On top of daddy coming home we also had church and Sunday school this morning. Then the girls went swimming at a friend's house (thank you so much!) and then to a birthday party. What a busy day!
It seems odd to keep doing the same old (normal) things when life feels anything but normal now. Things like time and dates escape me completely. Sometimes I wonder if I've just been oblivious to how spoiled my life is prior to all of this. I don't mean that in a bad way, just realizing how very very very blessed we are, that although we are walking through trials as a family right now, we have faith, we have Jesus and we know that He is walking with us. Not everyone that is going through trials has peace that passes understanding. Even when the moments happen that I feel so overwhelmed that I almost feel like I can't breath, I still know that I know that I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand on the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. (Job 19:25-27)
In the meantime, we just keep getting through each day, breathing, and I'm so thankful that I don't have to find my meaning in the pain of this world, because my meaning is wrapped up in my God....makes me think of a song by Lifehouse ~
The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you
The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, is there healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on,
I'm barely holdin' on to you
I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be OK
The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain(In the pain) there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on,
I'm barely holdin' on to you
I'm holdin' on,
I'm barely holdin' on to you
Saturday, June 11, 2011
What is a funeral?
Mark is doing pretty well today. He was able to get up and walk and started eating. Dr. Shepard said he should be able to come home tomorrow - yay! I wasn't able to go down the Houston today, but Mark's parents are down there with him so he isn't alone.
Tonight I asked the girls if they knew what a funeral is. Rachel and Gabie both said no, but Eliya said yes. So I asked her what she thinks it is, this was her answer:
A funeral is a party where we celebrate that someone got to go be with Jesus. The person that died is in a case and everyone goes and looks at them and is sad and happy. Then all the people have to sit in the pews so the pastor can some things about Jesus and the person that died being together. Then we eat and celebrate some more.
I thought that was a wonderful answer.
Tonight I asked the girls if they knew what a funeral is. Rachel and Gabie both said no, but Eliya said yes. So I asked her what she thinks it is, this was her answer:
A funeral is a party where we celebrate that someone got to go be with Jesus. The person that died is in a case and everyone goes and looks at them and is sad and happy. Then all the people have to sit in the pews so the pastor can some things about Jesus and the person that died being together. Then we eat and celebrate some more.
I thought that was a wonderful answer.
Friday, June 10, 2011
After Surgery
Mark is doing pretty good today. He was moved from ICU to the acute care floor for neuro. The doctor said he is doing great so far. He now has a checklist of things he has to do before he can be discharged. He did stand up for the first time this evening and said that went okay. Thank you for the continued prayers!
Samantha had a rough day today as she aspirated, so our time with her is drawing to a close. Seems like everything happens at once, but we know God's timing is perfect. We pray that the rest of her time with us here on earth can be peaceful.
God is holding us and we have peace, God's blessings to you all!
Samantha had a rough day today as she aspirated, so our time with her is drawing to a close. Seems like everything happens at once, but we know God's timing is perfect. We pray that the rest of her time with us here on earth can be peaceful.
God is holding us and we have peace, God's blessings to you all!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
surgery -check
We visited with Dr. Shephard and the surgery went fine. He opened the dura and patched it and also opened the skull to relieve the pressure. The dura band was quite tight he said and was released. As far as surgery goes his heart, lungs, etc all did fine. Now we wait for him to wake up. Once he wakes up they will move him to the ICU and then we can see him. Thank you for your prayers!
Added 8:30 - I was able to see mark, he did wake up. He was very nauseous and out of it but ok.
Added 8:30 - I was able to see mark, he did wake up. He was very nauseous and out of it but ok.
MRI and preop check
Mark came down yesterday for an MRI, his surgery today was pushed back and he is now in surgery. He was taken back at 11:30 this morning and they still had to do an arterial line, catheter, shave his head and intibate him. Almost all if that would be done under the anesthesia. The surgeon said the surgery would take approximately 4 hours and it started at 1:30. I will update here once I talk to the surgeon after surgery. Thank you for your prayers.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Registration - check
This morning Micaiah, Mark and I went and got Micaiah's 1 year pictuers taken on our way to the airport to pick up grandma and grandpa on our way to the hospital to preregister Mark for his surgery - whew! A lot to do! Overall things went smoothly, although I was a little nervous when the preregistration took so long. When they looked back through Mark's records they were concerned about a few things, in particular his heart, so they did an ekg. Everything appears to be fine from that so the surgery is on. Tomorrow he will have the MRI and we will also find out a more specific time for surgery. We know so many are praying for this surgery and we appreciate the prayers. His surgeon is Dr. Sherpard and the surgery will take place at Memorial Hermann in downtown Houston.
As we go forward I am reminded of the verse, "The Lord you God is with you, He is mighty to save, He will take great delight in you." Zephaniah 3:17 ~ He is mighty to save, in His time and in His way, we pray that we can have the faith and trust to follow His through with whatever plans He has through all of this, and we pray that the surgery is successful and brings healing and relief.
As we go forward I am reminded of the verse, "The Lord you God is with you, He is mighty to save, He will take great delight in you." Zephaniah 3:17 ~ He is mighty to save, in His time and in His way, we pray that we can have the faith and trust to follow His through with whatever plans He has through all of this, and we pray that the surgery is successful and brings healing and relief.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Here We Go
So the busy week is here. Tomorrow Mark's parents fly in and he preregisters for surgery. Then on Wednesday he has the MRI and Thursday morning (8:30) surgery. I will update things here as I have information. As of right now Mark's parents will be staying in Houston by the hospital to be close to him and I will be doing more of the back and forth thing as I can.
A couple weeks ago there was a power surge during a storm and out laptop was fried. That was the computer I used to upload picture to the blog. I'm sure there is a way to do it from our new mini, but I just don't have the time or patience to figure it out right now, but rest assured that when I get a chance there will be lots of new pictures once again.
Thank you for all the continued prayers for our entire family, we are so thankful for all of God's goodness, for the wonderful love He shows us and that we can KNOW that HE is with us through it all. God's blessings to you all!
A couple weeks ago there was a power surge during a storm and out laptop was fried. That was the computer I used to upload picture to the blog. I'm sure there is a way to do it from our new mini, but I just don't have the time or patience to figure it out right now, but rest assured that when I get a chance there will be lots of new pictures once again.
Thank you for all the continued prayers for our entire family, we are so thankful for all of God's goodness, for the wonderful love He shows us and that we can KNOW that HE is with us through it all. God's blessings to you all!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Waiting
~by John Waller
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
I don't know what else to do but wait on the Lord. I know some people think that with all that our family has been through/is going through that it's amazing we still have faith - but that's the one thing we do have! That's the one thing that doesn't change, doesn't fade, doesn't cheat us out of any blessing or goodness. I don't think any of us enjoy waiting, although I have found it to be such a blessing right now. Usually I want things to hurry up and get here. Right now I'm content to slow things down. I want to savor the time we have with Samantha. I want to enjoy my children and their precious childhood years. I want to remember the moments that God gave us such blessings, even in the midst of hardships.
Today we enjoyed some garage saling (aka getting things that we think we need, which inevitably end up laying around collecting dust until the next time we have a garage sale and then passing them on to the next person...haha) and some time up at Travis and Stephanie's house with sweet Samantha. We attempted to do plaster images of Sammy's hands and feet (we'll see tomorrow if they turned out). Micaiah was running a fever today and pulling on her ears so she's starting a new antibiotic ~ this is either her 3rd of 4th for ear infections - seems like we've been down this road before....hopefully she will outgrow it unlike 2 of her older sisters, time will tell. Currently we are looking for Rachel's glasses (again!) as she seems to have misplaced them.....*sigh*. I'm so thankful that we will have perfect bodies in heaven where we don't have to keep track of glasses anymore! :)
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
I don't know what else to do but wait on the Lord. I know some people think that with all that our family has been through/is going through that it's amazing we still have faith - but that's the one thing we do have! That's the one thing that doesn't change, doesn't fade, doesn't cheat us out of any blessing or goodness. I don't think any of us enjoy waiting, although I have found it to be such a blessing right now. Usually I want things to hurry up and get here. Right now I'm content to slow things down. I want to savor the time we have with Samantha. I want to enjoy my children and their precious childhood years. I want to remember the moments that God gave us such blessings, even in the midst of hardships.
Today we enjoyed some garage saling (aka getting things that we think we need, which inevitably end up laying around collecting dust until the next time we have a garage sale and then passing them on to the next person...haha) and some time up at Travis and Stephanie's house with sweet Samantha. We attempted to do plaster images of Sammy's hands and feet (we'll see tomorrow if they turned out). Micaiah was running a fever today and pulling on her ears so she's starting a new antibiotic ~ this is either her 3rd of 4th for ear infections - seems like we've been down this road before....hopefully she will outgrow it unlike 2 of her older sisters, time will tell. Currently we are looking for Rachel's glasses (again!) as she seems to have misplaced them.....*sigh*. I'm so thankful that we will have perfect bodies in heaven where we don't have to keep track of glasses anymore! :)
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Made It Through
We made it through the dentist visit and Gabie's surgery and overall everyone is doing fine. Both Gabie and Rachel had stuff to do at the dentist. Gabie's went fine. She was getting one of her crowns recemented and having her 5-year-sealants put on.
Rachel we knew they were going to sedate. Nana drove us to the dentist and she wanted her to go back with her. After a few minutes mom came out and got me and said they needed my help. Rachel was hysterical and they were trying to restrain her which was not going well. I don't think I ever want to see anything like that again. I was able to sing to her and calm her down enough for them to inject something into her mouth and put the gas on her face - this 'allowed' them to put the full body restraint on her - I left at that point. It was aweful to see. After this whole experience I doubt my daughter will ever willingly go to a dentist again and this was a pediatric dentist! *sigh* I can't say that I blame her. The stuff they used to sedate her made her sick to her tummy and she spent most of the rest of the day throwing up. On top of all of that they charged us $200 more then their original quote at the beginning of the month.....needless to say I think we'll be finding a new dentist for the girls.
So that takes us to Tuesday morning and Gabie's surgery. This could not have gone smoother. She was so brave, only had a few tears at all after the surgery. More than anything her ears seem to be hurting her. We knew she had some hearing loss already from an audiology test she had done last year. The doctor said that her right ear only had a very small hole almost none, but he did go ahead and patch it after taking the tube out. The left ear he said had a pretty significant hole, it is patched as well, but chances are she will have some hearing loss there. Her tonsils also came out and other then the normal sore throat she's been great.
Yesterday someone from the funeral home came to meet with the family about doing some prearrangement stuff for Samantha (this was highly encouraged by hospice). I guess I always thought that when my sister and I would be sitting at a table together planning funeral arrangments it would be for our parents down the road. It is unimaginable planning a funeral for a child. Unimaginable.
To some degree I think a lot of our days are just going through the motions. I forget about a lot of others things that are coming or going and just get through each moment (where am I supposed to be right now...). We spend most of our time up at Stephanie and Travis's house. I'm not sure how things will go next week with Mark's MRI (scheduled for Wednesday) and surgery (Thursday). Many people have asked us how we're feeling about his upcoming surgery. It's very strange because I know it's been anxiously waited for some time, but I think we are both scared that it won't help, or even make things worse. We are both scared that while he's in the hospital something will happen with Samantha. We know that perfect love (God) casts out all fear (1John 4:18) ~ so we just do our best to keep our eyes on Christ and trust Him with all of our lives.
Thanks for checking in on us! God's blessings to you all.
Rachel we knew they were going to sedate. Nana drove us to the dentist and she wanted her to go back with her. After a few minutes mom came out and got me and said they needed my help. Rachel was hysterical and they were trying to restrain her which was not going well. I don't think I ever want to see anything like that again. I was able to sing to her and calm her down enough for them to inject something into her mouth and put the gas on her face - this 'allowed' them to put the full body restraint on her - I left at that point. It was aweful to see. After this whole experience I doubt my daughter will ever willingly go to a dentist again and this was a pediatric dentist! *sigh* I can't say that I blame her. The stuff they used to sedate her made her sick to her tummy and she spent most of the rest of the day throwing up. On top of all of that they charged us $200 more then their original quote at the beginning of the month.....needless to say I think we'll be finding a new dentist for the girls.
So that takes us to Tuesday morning and Gabie's surgery. This could not have gone smoother. She was so brave, only had a few tears at all after the surgery. More than anything her ears seem to be hurting her. We knew she had some hearing loss already from an audiology test she had done last year. The doctor said that her right ear only had a very small hole almost none, but he did go ahead and patch it after taking the tube out. The left ear he said had a pretty significant hole, it is patched as well, but chances are she will have some hearing loss there. Her tonsils also came out and other then the normal sore throat she's been great.
Yesterday someone from the funeral home came to meet with the family about doing some prearrangement stuff for Samantha (this was highly encouraged by hospice). I guess I always thought that when my sister and I would be sitting at a table together planning funeral arrangments it would be for our parents down the road. It is unimaginable planning a funeral for a child. Unimaginable.
To some degree I think a lot of our days are just going through the motions. I forget about a lot of others things that are coming or going and just get through each moment (where am I supposed to be right now...). We spend most of our time up at Stephanie and Travis's house. I'm not sure how things will go next week with Mark's MRI (scheduled for Wednesday) and surgery (Thursday). Many people have asked us how we're feeling about his upcoming surgery. It's very strange because I know it's been anxiously waited for some time, but I think we are both scared that it won't help, or even make things worse. We are both scared that while he's in the hospital something will happen with Samantha. We know that perfect love (God) casts out all fear (1John 4:18) ~ so we just do our best to keep our eyes on Christ and trust Him with all of our lives.
Thanks for checking in on us! God's blessings to you all.
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