~ Act Justly, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly ~

I remember many Sundays when Mark was still preaching when I would feel like he wrote his sermon just for me. It seemed like the words were so fitting to what I was thinking about or going through and spoke exactly what I needed to hear (even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear :) I would even tease him sometimes after church that I thought he was invading my thoughts to write his sermons - haha.

Something about going through this adventure (if I can call it that) has really seemed to open my heart to God's words spoken through His word, through songs, through other people of faith, etc. It seems like everything just speaks to me so much. Being a born and raised Lutheran girl I just don't have it in my background to raise my hands and shout out an "Amen!" to each thing that speaks out to me, but in my heart and mind that is exactly what I am doing.

The readings for today at church included these words....

"He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justily and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdome of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacekeepers, for they will be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 5:1-10

"Amen!" :0)

These are just selections from the readings, but they all spoke to me so strongly. God doesn't say that we should do what's required of Him if our lives are going great. He wants us to live for Him regardless of our circumstances. God also wants us to put our trust in Him, far above modern medicine and doctors. This isn't to say that God can't use these things as His instruments to accomplish His purposes, but our trust still needs to be in Him. When we follow His ways we can see in Matthew the vast reward of blessings that will be poured out on us. Perhaps as a 'job-description' (yes, Travis I was listening :) it's not the job we'd want to sign up for, but following Christ is a joy and blessing to us.

I thought of these verses this evening while my sister and I were at Walmart. Travis stayed at home to help Mark and to watch the girls. I needed to return something and waited in line for about 20 minutes to get through Customer Service, then got the couple of things I needed and went to check out. But the gift card they had given me at customer service didn't work. They took it back and forth a couple of times and finally after about 45 minutes got us through with what we needed and a new card. They were so apologetic and nice about the whole thing, and I honestly wasn't even stressed about it all. If fact it was a nice little break from the chaos of life to just be inconvenienced for a few minutes - isn't it amazing how one's perspective can change? I count it such a blessing that something that would've turned my mood sour and probably would've had me saying some unkind things has turned into something that is no big deal. I wish I could've been as gracious when our bathroom flooded yesterday, but slowly I am learning to try with the Lord's help to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly, it is a process and will never be perfected here on earth, but praise the Lord for His patient teaching.

We'll see what adventures tomorrow brings, hopefully we'll know when our appointments will be. Thanks for checking on us and for praying us through. We appreciate all of you so much! Love to you all, Goodnight.

Another Day

Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all His benefits - who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagles's. ~Psalm 103:1-5

These words were shared with us at dinner tonight. The same God who heals our diseases will crown us and give us all good things - yes we will praise Him!

Today was overall a great day, just a lot of putting away and organzing and relaxing. My aunt and uncle from Eau Claire, WI came to see us which was a joy to spend time with them and nice to have the help around the house. I also was able to get all the papers that we gathered yesterday faxed to the various insurance people. It was also a gorgeous day with beautiful weather.

Mark's headache isn't any better, but it also isn't any worse. Micaiah is much happier today as tooth #4 FINALLY broke through - hooray! She was a much happier camper today which is great. As I write this she is laying and snuggling with daddy. The older 3 are snuggling together and watching a movie, I think 2/3 have drifted off.

Goodnight and God's blessings to you all!

So Very Thankful

Wow - have I told all of you out there reading our blog how awesome you are??? :0) If not, then I need to say it - YOU ARE AWESOME! I was so stressed yesterday and when I told you about it, so many lifted us up (as you continually do) in prayer for our specific needs. God answers prayer! Today was amazing - a complete turn-around from yesterday.

First of all my sister had her regular doctor appointment for baby Thumper - which went great! Praise the Lord for that. Her doctor said that from here on out whenever the baby needs to come it can come (yes, she's still very early at this point, but a relief to know that they've gotten this far and things are still going great!).

Second, I was able to gather all the information that the disability insurance wanted by making a trip to Houston and visiting doctors offices and the hospital. Although it sounds hectic it actually went very smoothly, and we will be able to move on from that hopefully.

Third, I heard back from both Mark and my doctors today. Dr. Martin called and said that the EEG was normal - Praise the Lord! We needed some positive news :) That basically means that there are no seizure issues and no other abnormalities that we didn't already know about. The doctor from Germany will be here this next week so he is going to have Mark see him. We have to call on Monday to find out when, but we know it will be next week. This doctor specializes in csf leaks. He will be one of the doctors consulting with Dr. Martin on Mark's case and we are so happy that he's in the country now so we can keep things moving as far as Mark's stuff goes.

Then the nurse from my doctor's office called and said that I need to see a Dr. Heath who is an orthopedic surgeon here. The great thing about it is that so many people here have mentioned his name to me if I need an ortho doctor. And it happened to be the same doctor that was selected for me without even my asking! I will have to call on Monday to find out when my appointment is as well. But we are happy things seem to moving along.

After the long day yesterday it felt so good to feel like we made so much progress today - we praise God for that, but we also want to thank all of you. We know you are faithfully lifting us up in prayer each day and we are so thankful! We also wanted you to know that God is answering! He listens to us, His children. And just because he hasn't answered all of our prayers in the way we would sometimes like, we know His thoughts are much greater then ours and that His perfect picture is being formed in our lives.

And finally, for the last piece of great news - tonight we are in the new house! The girls are all sleeping peacefully (which I should probably be doing too!) I'm glad there was an internet close by that I could 'borrow' to update. Goodnight and thank you for all your prayers! We praise the Lord for you all!

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

I think I spent about a third of my day in tears today. Fighting with insurance companies has never been on my list of 'fun' things to do. At one point today I even had two ladies from two different insurance things fighting over why neither of their companies was responsible for our claim and why the other company should be. At the same time as all this was going on I had a screaming baby (trust me the insurance people could attest to how much she screamed today) because she is trying to cut her 4th tooth. With all the HIPPA stuff things like disability and complicated medical things are made much more difficult. Mark also was having a difficult day.

It is so easy to get discouraged through this process, to feel like we're just banging our heads against the wall and to let hopelessness creep in. Some days I wonder if this nightmere will ever end. Today was one of those days. But as I sat here praying I was reminded of the verses in Philippians 4: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." There are always two ways to look at a situation. At the risk of sounding like Pollyanna and the 'glad game' there is always something positive to find in each situation. Some days this is easier then others. I'm reminded about one situation in that movie where they were pointing out all the horrible things about something and challenging Pollyanna to find something good about it. Her thoughtful response was that there would be a whole week before they would have to endure the issue again. Perhaps as far as dealing with the insurance goes I can tell myself with the weekend coming that it will be a couple days before I have to deal with them again! haha.

Light that Scatters Darkness

We want to believe the world is understandable.
That life is fair.
That things make sense.
We want to believe that if we're careful enough, work hard enough, try hard enough, we and those we love will be safe from anything bad.
It's one of the biggest questions humans wrestle with -
why thinigs sometimes aren't fair.
But even though we don't always have a neat answer to why things happen,
we do have each other....
and we have our faith.
Just a simple kind of faith that somehow, someday, suffering will end,
good will be rewarded, love will endure, pain will be forgotten,
light will scatter darkness, and our spirits will go on.
~ Catherine Slater

The really cool thing about this is that somehow, someday suffering will end! Love will endure, pain will be forgotten, because Jesus the light of world scattered the darkness and our spirits will go on in heaven. (Isaiah 60....)

We got a lot done in the house today. John has been a huge help, we will miss him when he leaves tomorrow. This evening we are going to relax and enjoy the company of good friends and a glass of wine :) Love to you all!

Lavish Love From God

various verses from Psalm 46:
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear...The LORD Almighty is with us; He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
The LORD Almighty is with us.

We are still in a waiting game - waiting to hear from doctors. The frustration of the waiting has been greatly lifted by having good friends here. We have been enjoying time with family and friends. We were sad to see Micah go today, but we are happy that he is back with his family as we know what a precious gift time with family is. Tonight we enjoyed stories and prayers with our daughters. Gabie's prayer included "and thank you God for all the people praying for us out there somewhere." AMEN - we thank God for all of you 'out there somewhere' :0) Someone else called me tonight and told me what a joy she had visiting with Eliya on Saturday during the unloading. This morning when I took the girls to school I was called into the office and presented with huge boxes of household and pantry items from the wonderful staff at Faith Lutheran School. The director said that one of the teachers was so touched by a conversation she had with Elie that she wanted to do something for our family and they all pitched in. It brings tears to my eyes as I write this, just the amazing outpouring of blessings. "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" 1 John 3:1.

Filled with Joy!

Today Mark had his EEG - to know more about what this is you can go to this article: http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003931.htm
They said they would mail the results to us and that they would contact the doctor with the results tomorrow. We should hear from the doctor in the next couple days as far as the next appointment goes. Perhaps this will give the doctors some insight or maybe it will just reaffirm what they already know, we'll wait and see.

It has been a joy and privilege having Micah and John here. Mark's spirits have been lifted and even though I know he still has the headache, it has been wonderful seeing him so happy and able to do stuff with them. Mark has been learning his limitations and knows when he needs to lay down and when he can hang out for awhile.

We feel so blessed to have such wonderful friends. We know that it is by God's grace that we have them and we are so thankful. The longer this lasts the more I am being opened to the bigger picture of God's plan on our lives. We all have "issues", we all go through tough times. No one is immune to it, because their is sin in the world. Even those who seem to have 'perfect lives' don't. Perhaps they are better at hiding it then others, or perhaps it's just been awhile since they've been in the valley, but we all go through the valley from time to time. There are so many out there that are hurting. We think of you all so often and pray for you. Your stories through your letters and e-mails have touched our hearts and lives as much as we have touched yours. Please know that we lift you all up in prayer as well each day. Sometimes when we're in the 'valley' it's easy to turn inward and think only of the pain and suffering that we are going through. When we're in pain we tend to have tunnel vision to the world around us, and part of that is just a coping mechanism for getting through, at the same time, we don't want to forget to open our eyes to the bigger picture of what God has in store for us. Matthew West's lyrics to "My Own Little World" touch on this....
"What if there’s a bigger picture
What if I’m missing out
What if there’s a greater purpose I could be living right now
Outside my own little world"

I also think of the words in Psalm 126:
When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion, we were like those who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.” The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.
Restore our fortunes, LORD, like streams in the Negev. Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them."

We will reap with songs of joy! But notice the words before the reaping....there was weeping and sowing ~ pain and toil. But the Great Refiner takes that work and he makes something amazing out of it. For so many of you running the race, whether it's through prayers with us, or your own race of trials and tribulations, remember that the Lord will return you and you will be filled with joy again! The Lord will do great things, but even more importantly, He's already done great things for us - we have salvation through Him - Praise the Lord. We are filled with joy!

Fun at the Dretke's House!

I love this picture!

snuggle time!

Micaiah was helping DeeDee to bowl on the wii.

Super Bowl Party!

Fun Football

Today felt like a normal day. That might sound weird to say, but normal days for us have been few and far between overall. We started our day with going to church. Mark seems to be the worst first thing in the morning. I thought it wasn't going to be a very good day for him since he was pretty bad this morning when we left for church. But he with taking his medicine and going back and forth between laying down and being up for a little bit throughout the day he was able to have a pretty good day. I was able to have help in church with the girls as John and Micah (who brought our stuff here) sat with us. I can't tell you all how much it means to have extra hands in church.

Then we came back to the Dretke's (the family that has been putting us up - or putting up with us :) for an afternoon/evening of football. The big game for everyone here was the Packer game, and since they won it was a great afternoon here. They even got Mark to wear a Packer sweatshirt for awhile - for all of you that really know Mark you know how much he's not in his right mind right now - haha. He was a good sport about it and I think is cheering for them. We enjoyed wonderful food and fellowship with their family and friends. John even made a cheesecake for us - YUM!

Today felt normal, tomorrow we are back to the appointments; tomorrow is Mark's EEG, hopefully this further testing will help the doctors and give them more insight into Mark's unique case so they can best begin finding the solution in right time and way.

Thank you for the continued prayers and support for our family. We have been so blessed through so many of you!

Overwhelmed

"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy." Philippians 1:3-4

I almost didn't update the blog this evening because I just don't even know how to put into words what I am feeling. Overwhelmed with joy, saddness, gratitude, thankfulness....
We had so many people that came forward to help us move our things here. Although posessions are just things they do bring comfort in having something familiar close by. I think what means even more is the dear friends and family that have come forward to help us with all of this. I fought feelings of sadness all day at the idea that our things are not where I thought we would / should be right now. When I think of how I 'wrote' our story this isn't the direction it would've gone. However, I also know that God's infinite wisdom is greater and that His plans for our lives are far more amazing then anything I could ever write in.

I don't know that I can fully say or express just what these past couple of days have meant to us. Please know that we have so much gratitude and love for all of you from those who have prayed us through this whole process to those that literally carried our things through (or drove them :) Thank you. Thank you so much. We give thanks to God for you.

BTW ~ Micaiah also has big news to share....tooth #3 has arrived! :)

Look at Me Standing!

Pretty in Pink

Top of my Lungs

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18

Last night I turned up the song by Phillips, Craig and Dean "Top of my Lungs". I'm not even sure what all the lyrics are without looking them up, but I was so frustrated and just wanted to yell - so I yelled "Hallelujah!" I can't say that felt like singing Hallelujah, but sometimes what I know is true and what I feel are two different things. I repeat the passages in scripture over and over and over through prayer, reading and writing so that my mind hears it until I feel it. I KNOW that God is good all the time, but believing it all the time can be a struggle. I just keep saying it until it is so ingrained in me that I believe it.

I was frustrated because of the phone call from my doctor. At my 8 week follow-up appointment from my broken bones the doctor had said that things looked like they were starting to heal and I could start running again around Christmas. The first couple runs I took felt good although I was a little stiff. But 4 runs in and I was in a lot of pain. So I went to the doctor here to just make sure that things were all healed up and this was just getting all the kinks worked out. Unfortunately that wasn't the case. The doctor called and said I needed to stop running and go to an orthopedic surgeon. He hesitated to say too much since that is not his area of expertise, but he said that things were not looking good and he was surprised I was walking as well as I am. So I guess we'll wait and see. In the grand scheme of life I know this is a very temporary issue and that compared to so many bigger and harder sufferings out there it isn't that big of a deal, but I have to admit I am angry, frustrated and sad. I wonder why we both have to have "issues" right now when we were blessed with 4 beautiful little girls to take care of. I am frustrated that doing a very healthy activity to relieve stress keeps being taken from me. And I'm scared of the long-term outcome might be if they indeed need to do surgery and possibly re-break things. (yes, I am getting a little ahead of myself here w/out hearing the orthopedic surgeon's ideas). I KNOW God is taking care of us. And I KNOW He loves us. But all the fears and doubts creep in sometimes. For now I will just keep singing at the top of my lungs HALLELUJAH!

It probably didn't help that this news came on a really bad day for Mark. Although we didn't end up back in the ER so we praise the Lord for that. He was just in so much pain yesterday. Although the good news is that Dr. Martin called and he was able to get Mark's appointment moved up to Monday - hooray!

We are also looking forward to a truck arriving from Wisconsin this weekend. Even more then the truck and the things in it we are so looking forward to seeing our good friends! It means so much that two of Mark's best friends are bringing our things down here and I am excited to see them and I know Mark is looking forward to it so much as well.

Finally, I want to share a precious moment from this morning. My mom is flying back to Nebraska for a few days (before she returns with my dad in about a week). When she went in this morning to say goodbye to the girls Gabie gave her a hug and said "please pray for us Nana." It was so tender that our precious daughter is turning to the Lord for her help. We give thanks to God for our wonderful girls and pray that we will be able to take care of them and continue to guide them to grow in their love for the Lord.

Great Day!

We were so blessed to have a great day today. Every day is a blessing, but today was extra special. Mark was able to get out of the house and hang out with us all for awhile. It has been weeks since he's felt that good! (since probably Christmas). He said his headache was still there but much less so we praise the Lord for that! We were able to get a lot of busy work done today, and even got to see all the work that's being done on the house. We also got another call from Dr. Martin's receptionist today. He wants a specific radiologist to handle the next testing and that person wasn't in today, but will be tomorrow so she will call us tomorrow with a time/place for when we go in again.

Something that I have been reflecting on for quite a few days has also come to light more and more through the letters and e-mails that are being sent to Mark. It comes from the verses in Isaiah 55:8-9, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." We have a set way of thinking of how things are to be done, and how we think God's will is accomplished in our lives. We are learning that these verses have truly come to light in our lives these past several weeks.

Ironically, we have never been so poor and yet so rich at the same time. Right now we are currently without any income (mainly because the disability insurance doesn't pay when they are 'investigating' things and they do this investigation every 3 months) so technically you could say we have no income - however in the entire course of our married life we've never had as much money in the bank as we do right now. God's ways are higher then our ways!

We always believed that Mark's calling being a pastor was to take place through the traditional preaching in a pulpit, but as one message said "Think back to the strange ways He led the prophets and the tough times they went through, which happened to bring a message to His people. Perhaps you are touching more people through your bed of affliction than you would through a pulpit." God's thoughts are higher then our thoughts!

As I have shared your messages with Mark I know that he has been so touched. We still pray that God would take his pain away, but Mark has said that if God will use this to His glory then he will gladly take up the cross that God gives him. Thank you for helping to encourage Mark. By knowing that somehow through all this that his (and our) story can touch the lives of others that it gives us some purpose. You are all giving Mark an amazing gift ~ once again I'm thinking of George Bailey, you are giving Mark the chance to know how his life has touched those around him. Thank you for taking the time to give this gift, it means more then you could ever know....

FYI - I finally caught up on some pictures going back to December 24th. Enjoy!

Encouragement

First and foremost I want to say a huge thank you to so many that have already taken the time to send such heart-felt messages to Mark. I have been printing them and sharing them with him and they have been so touching to us both. I know his spirits have been lifted - although his pain was still quite bad today his spirit was much more positive. Thank you for taking the time to help make a difference! It is truly such a blessing to us - the words you've shared just mean so much, I don't know if words can really express it here, but I appreciate so many taking up the chance to send some encouragement.

Secondly I have some good news. Dr. Martin has really stepped up. He is moving on some things. Interestingly enough the trip to the ER has helped in that. It seems ironic that something that seems so aweful can turn out to be such a blessing - Romans 8:28 comes to mind in this "We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Mark's EEG should happen this week now and there is a doctor here from Germany that he wants to consult with on Mark's case. So things are starting to move. Although I don't know anything specific yet he called today to let us know that he was getting things going (yes, he called, not just his receptionist).

One thing that we love about Dr. Martin is his sense of humor - he makes us laugh which is so refreshing. Something else we really love about him is that when we went to the ER we put in a call to him - he called us back before the ER doctor had even come in the room - and then called back again today. This is a highly trained (and paid) specialists and he takes the time to call his patients back right away. Anyone that has dealt with a unique and long-term health issue will understand how big this is to us. He also explains things to us so well without making it impossible to understand w/out a medical degree and without being condescending. He is such a blessing! I know many of you have been lifting him up in prayer as well and we are so thankful for the prayers both for Mark but also for his doctors.

This is a long hard battle that we are facing and your encouragement love and support have made this day's outlook so much brighter. Thank you for the prayers, love and support and especially for the kind words you have shared with Mark. What a blessing for him to have a chance to know some of the ways his life has impacted other's. Please know that someday we hope to return the favor and share with each of you just how special you are to us and how you've helped impact our lives. It is through God's grace and your prayers that we stay faithful and give Him the glory......
(by Matt Redman)
Blessed be Your name, when the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name, on the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your name!
Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say:
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name!

I think one of my favorite lines in that song is "my heart will choose to say 'Lord, blessed be your name!'" We are making the choice to praise him! One of these days the devil is going to realize that he CAN'T WIN against us! And although I would give just about anything to take away Mark's suffering the one thing we will not trade is our faith, it is what we cling to. Thank you for your encouragement in this choice!

8 Months Old!

The monthly bear pictures.....As you can see it is getting very difficult to take these pictures - Micaiah is on the MOVE - she does not sit still at all (unless she's sleeping). But I got a few cute ones :)

A Favor

So many people have asked what they can do to help us. One thing Mark really needs right now is some encouragment. It is very frustrating for him that he can't work for two reasons - one because he loves being a pastor and feels so called to be a pastor but also because he is a husband and father and wants to be able to take care of his family. He is also in constant pain and that is very wearing. He is such an amazing person and I am so blessed to have him as a part of my life and thank God for the wonderful father he is to the girls.

If you could all take a moment and write a note of a specific way that Mark has touched your life whether as a friend, family member, congregation member, or maybe just through hearing his story through other people I would ask that you would consider writing a short note to him telling him about it. You can mail notes to our address: P.O. Box 8096 Huntsville, TX 77340 or e-mail them to me at cmallisonmoldenhauer@yahoo.com and I will print them out for him. I know that he has impacted so many lives and he is getting discouraged right now - please help us to lift his spirits by reminding him how much his life has touched others through God's gracious plan. Thank you so much for taking the time to do this for him! God's blessings to you all!

FYI ~ our phone numbers have changed, our number is (936)446-7303.

Frustrated yet Faithful

Many of you have heard that Mark was taken back to the hospital yesterday. He ended up passing out, whether due to a seizure or fainting we aren’t sure. His headache was off the charts on the pain scale – I’ve never seen him in that much pain through all of this. The doctors at the ER were able to get things under control with some pain meds and things and were debating about re-admitting him but we opted to go home since he gets a lot better sleep in his own bed without getting woken up by nurses every couple hours.

We wish we knew what triggered this so we could be more proactive about preventing it from happening again, but hopefully once we get the cysts, leaks, chiari and tumor taken care of it won’t. He is doing better today. His headache was still bad this morning but has lessened as the day has gone on. Right now I’m watching him snuggle with Micaiah which is a precious moment.

Tonight as I went for my run (yes I am running again! :) I listened to the song ‘I Am’ by Mark Schultz ~
I AM the Spirit deep inside you.
I AM the Word upon your heart.
I AM the One Who even knew you
Before your birth, before you were...
I AM the Fount of living water,The risen Son of Man,The Healer of the broken.
And when you cry I AM your Savior and Redeemer,
Who bore the sin of man,The Author and Perfector,Beginning and the end.
I AM, yes I AM!

What a comfort that the one that knew us before we were born is also the HEALER OF THE BROKEN and the one there when we cry out in pain or for help. One of the reading for church on Sunday was 1 Corinthians 1:1-9 which ends with verse nine saying, “God is faithful.” I’m so thankful that God isn’t just faithful when I feel it, He is also faithful when I am frustrated, scared and down. He is faithful when we are sick and when we are well. He is faithful when we have the answers and when we do not. He is faithful knowing that we are not perfect – knowing that we cannot be faithful as He is, and yet, He remains faithful. The great I AM is faithful even when we are not.

I was struggling so much last night – it was hard to see Mark in so much pain. Yet, His word is written on my heart. His faithfulness shines through our hurt and pain. Thank you to our many faithful followers, for your prayers and love. We love you ~ remember God is faithful!

Some Days are Better then Others

So we are learning that some days are better then others. Yesterday was awful for Mark. He was in terrible pain and never even really got out of bed. Even taking his pain meds he couldn't really move. Today was much better. Although he still has a headache (I don't think that ever changes from existing, it's more the severity that shifts) he was able to join the family for breakfast and now watching a movie this evening. He also enjoyed some snuggle time with Micaiah today.

We are slowly trying to make a new normal out of being here. Our lives have been turned upside-down. We have been welcomed with open arms here, but that doesn't mean that change doesn't come with a lot of fear and adjustments. (yes I am speaking as a good Lutheran here - haha - change?!) But I find a lot of comfort reading Hebrews 11 when it comes to things like faith in times of trials, changes and travels....

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, for he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God." (v. 1, 8, 9)

It goes on to talk about how they were longing and looking for a home that wasn't their own, they didn't 'settle' here on earth because they knew something better was in store....heaven!

I've heard this question long before we were going through a difficult time - "Why do bad things happen to good (or Christian) people?" I don't claim to have all the answers, but as a friend and I were talking this week on the phone and she mentioned that question I said that I wondered if it's because we get to comfortable. If things are going smoothly and our lives are quite well and comfortable do we forget to long for what God has truly prepared us for? Please understand I'm sure the answer is much more complex then that including ideas about 'the big picture' and preparing us for what's to come in this life here on earth - but perhaps there is also just a bit of the idea of longing for heaven and being with our Lord. If things on earth here were perfect what need would we have for heaven? If we were sinless and perfect ourselves what need would we have for a Savior?

My choir director in college wrote a song with another professor there:

Though mountains slide into the sea and waters rush where fields should be. Though monuments and nations fall Your holy city stands through all! When nothing seems to stay the same You teach us Your eternal name.... I AM forever WHO I AM; above you, beneath you, around you and within you. Be still and know that I AM God.
(the name I AM comes from Exodus 3:14)

Through the changes, the uncertainty, the confusion, and stress I AM remains the same. He is our God. We may long for our time in heaven where there is no pain or suffering, but for now we will trust Him and the bigger picture for our lives. We are still in need of our Savior. And when you think of the mess we'd be in without Him then we can surely count our blessings for all we have. Tonight we thank Him for some time together as a family.

God's blessings to you all this weekend!

All Lined Up

The older 3 girls were playing with their toys over by the fireplace and Ciah immediately wanted to join them - they ended up all lined up in order just by coincidence. I couldn't resist a picture they were so cute!

The good, the bad and the GOD

So the good news for today - we met with Dr. Martin, who has been recommended by pretty much every other doctor we have seen (including at mayo and the doctors down here who are his colleagues at Texas Medical Center). We called a few months ago for the appointment and today was the day. He was wonderful. He listened to us. He explained things thoroughly that we've been confused and getting mixed ideas and answers about. He has a lot of ideas of what to do. This was all wonderful news. He also said he wants to take on Mark's entire case. So far we've had many wonderful doctors that are willing to treat certain parts of what's gong on. The difficulty is finding a doctor who wants to take the whole thing on collectively. He wants to. Praise the Lord for that!

The not so good is that we are still in a waiting game. At times this seems like it will never end. To some degree our lives have been on hold since Micaiah was born and she's almost 8 months old - it can be very wearing. He agrees that Mark very well may need the decompression surgery but also agrees that this could be very dangerous if we haven't addressed the other issues first. One thing that he explained much more thoroughly then any doctor has before is what is causing all the leaks that Mark has had in the spine. He has cysts up and down the nerve-root sleeves in his back. The cysts rupture whenever any stress or strain happens to the muscles in the back. This causes a leak, even though they may be small that is why they are not going away, or going away for awhile and then coming back. The cysts are a congenital thing and may be the same as the cyst in the thalamus. Like I said before he has a lot of ideas, but all these things take time, and due to the uniqueness of Mark's case we may be looking at some experimental procedures - which isn't necessarily bad, just can be a bit scary looking in the unknown. We also know that there isn't a 'cure' for everything either.

So where does that take us? Up next is EEG's both awake and sleeping and another visit with the neurosurgeon to go over some things. He also wants to slowly cut back on all pain meds. He is concerned that the side effects of the pain medication might be causing more issues as well.

The slow realization in all this is that we may have to create a new normal for our lives. We have been praying and begging for the Lord to let us get back to our normal lives. The words of the Casting Crowns song speak so clearly about our feelings:
"I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say amen and it's still raining"
It has been a slow and painful process to realize that God may be answering our prayer with a "no". It is still raining. His will is far greater then ours and we know that His power is made perfect in our weaknesses (2 Cor. 12:9). I think Mark can relate to Paul in the verses surrounding (7-10) that about asking God to take away his thorn. But where are we if we only accept good from God and not the challenges placed before us? The song goes on to say:
"as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.
And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are no matter where I am and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand You never left my side and though my heart is torn I will praise You in this storm."
God is turning our lives in a new direction at this present time to reveal His glory! We beleive and trust in Him. We know that He loves us and that He has called us 'friend'. We will praise Him, through the good and bad - because He is our GOD!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow we will leave bright and early to see the neurologist that specializes in csf leaks. We are hoping that he can shed some insight on Mark's unique case. Thank you for your prayers with this appointment!

We are now 3 days in on going to school at Faith Lutheran for the girls - and they love it! We are so thankful that they can have this routine and have a chance to make some new friends. In fact, all 3 days Gabie has been downright annoyed with me when I have come to pick her up because she isn't ready to leave! Eliya jabbers the whole way home about all the things she's done that day. We are so thankful for their ability to adapt to new situations.

Rachel has matured into quite a sweet young lady over the past few weeks. I was so proud of her the other day when she came and got me because she thought she had broken something (she really hadn't, it was already broken). Usually she would hide the thing or hide herself if she thought she was going to be in trouble for something, but she came and got me and was so apologetic. When I told her she didn't do anything wrong and how proud I was of her for getting help when she needed it we had a good hug and then enjoyed some snuggles and story together.

Micaiah also had a great accomplishment today - she stood on her own for the first time! She is just so ready to go - she has been crawling, climbing, cruising and anxiously trying to walk. This morning she stood on her own for 10-15 seconds. I couldn't believe it! She'll be walking before we know it. Our days of taking her along to doctor appointments and just snuggling with her in the waiting room are over.....she is BUSY!

It just amazes me how even when it seems like our lives are on hold that time just keeps marching on. We are so blessed to have such wonderful little girls in our lives who are growing, changing and adapting. They are all so unique and precious. We thank God for them every day.

Answered Prayers

Sometimes it feels like God is being silent in our journey, but then something like this happens ~

This was posted as a comment in our blog, but I wanted to draw attention to it because of the wonderful lesson in it - My friend Sabrina wrote:
God revieled his power to my 3 year old daughter yesterday when you asked us to pray for something little that could have been a big issue. Lydia and I prayed together for this little petition, then you texted me 30 minutes later saying God gave you the answer you needed at the time. I got to explain that to Lydia and she was amazed how God really answers prayers. WOW Something so little turned in to a very big lesson! Later that night she thanked God for answering our prayer for Allison. Thank you Lord! No request is to little for God.

We had somehow misplaced Mark's wallet and needed it. I had been searching for hours. I called her to ask her to pray to help me find it. I also stopped and took a moment to ask God that if it could be found to help me find it - I walked right to it! Praise the Lord for answered prayers.

I needed that reassurance yesterday that God does answer our prayers. Sometimes it feels like He is being silent because what we are praying for isn't granted. But His power is also made perfect in our weakness and His grace is always sufficient! (2 Corinthians 12:9) We continue to pray that He will heal Mark, but we also have been praying that His will is done and that He accomplishes His will in our lives and the lives of those around us through all that we are going through.

I also want to share some of the other ways that we have been blessed beyond our imaginations. * We were needing a blanket for the bed that we were sleeping on and God provided that next day in the mail the most beautifully made quilt for our bed.
* Some people we know gave toward us in the same way as the story of the widow's mite, which was a most humbling experience. (see Luke 21:1-4 for the Biblical story)
* An anonymous couple gave a large amount of money to us in memory of their daughter.
* A retired contractor has come and is taking on making our house a home that is safe and can accomodate Mark in any physical need that he may have through all this - he is also taking the financial burden of this off our shoulders.
* Cards, notes, messages, e-mails, phone calls that are always timed just right. God knows exactly what we need and He prompts the hearts and minds of those around us to prompt them to reach out with the exact words we need to hear.
* Dear friends and unknown strangers that packed our belongings for us.
* 2 special friends that are taking their vacation time to bring our things to us.
* People who reach out by providing room and board for us while we are here.

This doesn't even begin to cover half of the ways God has blessed us.

We also know that each day we have together as a family is a gift from God. We are so thankful for all He has done for us. Thank you for letting Him bless you through this journey. I believe that God has great things in store for us - because we love Him.

It's so easy to become disheartened and discouraged on this journey. I know that Mark's pain wears on him, and it pains me to see it in his eyes. Sometimes I just cry out to the Lord and say "why?!" And the voices play in my head that this pain and struggle is never going to end, that our lives are going to continue to be in chaos and the frustration builds,
"But the voice of truth tells me a different story, the voice of truth says 'Do not be afraid!'
The voice of truth says, 'This is for my glory!' Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth." (by Casting Crowns)
I do believe that this is for God's glory and He will uphold us and protect us. Even when we don't 'feel' like He is answering our prayers, His voice is the voice of truth, and He will never leave us or foresake us. We will follow the voice of TRUTH.

First Day of School (again)

On Friday Elie and Gabie had mentioned how much they missed their school. We decided to broach the subject of going to school here with them. There is a Lutheran school associated with Stephanie and Travis' church and the girls seemed excited about the idea of going. We were excited, but of course this was a lot of paperwork for mom to try to get done over the weekend. We got it all in and the girls had their first day at Faith Lutheran School today. They seemed to enjoy it a lot, and even though I missed them I will admit having 2 less kids to keep track of while trying to get things done during the day isn't too bad! :) The school has been wonderful and understanding about our last minute add-ons and were even able to scholarship them in so that we don't have to worry about tuition! (Did I mention that someone in WI had also blessed us with this great favor there as well? :) So we are doubly blessed to have two wonderful Lutheran schools that are girls are a part of! I did take some pictures today, and will get them uploaded soon.

Micaiah continues her antics and goofy way of crawling. Mom suggested that I get a video of it because we'll probably all forget how cute it is/was. I will try to get that on here soon too.

Rachel thoroughly enjoyed being on her own today. She and mommy did some errands together and she was a great help and very well behaved.

Mark had an okay day - it wasn't by any means a good day for him as he was in a lot of pain, but he did join the whole family for supper which was really nice. His next two appointments are Thursday and Monday so we'll see if we have more answers then. We are learning to be patient and wait on the Lord in the meantime.

God continues to remind us in big and little ways that we are in His hands through all of this. Thank you for your continued prayers along the way!

First Day (again)

Eliya gets to wear a uniform to school - she loves it, which I have to say surprises me, but we're glad she likes it!

These were taken on the girls' first day of school at Faith Lutheran in Huntsville, Texas. They were so excited to start school again!

It's a Wonderful Life

Sometimes I can just tell it's going to be a bad day. I used to think things like that because I would wake up late, stub my toe getting out of bed, run out of hot water in the shower and was having a bad hair day all before getting out the door! You know those kind of days - we've all had them.

It's amazing how my perspective has changed. I was chatting someone the other day and realized as they asked me how Mark's day was going that I had chalked it up to a good day because I could wake him up (this is important to me now as we had that scare in the hospital when they couldn't wake him) and he didn't throw up from the pain that day. He is in so much pain now that I can often see even when he's sleeping just how much pain he is in. This morning his forehead was creased and his hands were holding his head in pain, and he wasn't even up yet - now that's a bad day....but he is humble and counts it as a good day because as he says "I got to see all my girls."

I also want to share some thoughts from a letter that was sent to be read today at our church in Amherst, WI ~

As I write this letter I keep thinking about the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life”. George Bailey had the unique experience of seeing what the world would be like if his life hadn’t’ touched anyone else’s. Although we may never know how intricately our own lives touch other people we do know what our lives would be like without one in particular touching ours – Jesus Christ! We do know how dismal our lives would be, if he hadn’t come and rescued us. It is in Him that we put our hope and our trust.

As a congregation we know that you are being greatly affected by our lives turn of events. It has been a difficult journey and one that at times seems like it may not have an end here on earth. When we start to loose heart at this thought we can turn to rejoicing, because unlike those who have no hope, we know that Mark will have a complete, whole and healthy body again one day in heaven. We are so thankful for that promise!

God’s timing is no accident – he placed all the events and relationships that cross our lives together for a reason and purpose. We may never get to see just how different things would be as George Bailey did; but we are confident of God’s goodness, His plan and His perfect timing in our lives and the life of His church here in earth. “I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” (Psalm 27:13-14).

God created us to relational. It is through our relationships with one another that we carry out His work here on earth.

Touching Base

I have a very grumpy baby this evening who is clinging to momma so I just am giving a brief update. Mark had a pretty bad headache for most of the day, but it did let up some this evening so we praise the Lord for that! There are so many blessings each day that come in small and large packages. We are so thankful that God keeps reminding us of His prescence in our lives through these many blessings. My updates may be less while Mark is home as I will be doing my best to see to his needs and we want to enjoy this time together as a family. Thank you for your understanding in this. God's blessings to you all!

Making the Choice

Some times trusting and praising God is such an easy thing to do, our lives our good, we go to church, finances are stable, kids are healthy, you get the point....life is good - Praise the Lord! It's natural to give the Lord thanks and praise.

Other times though, it's not so easy. Our lives seem hard, we can't make it to church due to circumstances, finances are tight at best, our bodies can get sick, frail or fail on us...not so easy to sing the Lord's praises in these circumstances. But praise is also a choice. Today we will choose to praise God. We will choose to focus on the blessings we have. We will choose to honor Him in spite of our circumstances. Praise the Lord!

As you can imagine, these past couple of days have been extremely frustrating for us. Mark was discharged from the hospital today with no scheduled surgery and just long-term pain management. Why? Well, because his case is complicated. I've said this before, his case isn't just one neruo-thing - it's 3 and they may or may not be all very intricately related. If they are related doing something to one thing could profoundly impact and/or effect the other things. When they first discussed releasing him last night we asked for a plan of action to be in place. So today we were given that plan:
*Take a long term pain managment pill that will also help stave off any seizures that may come with all the brain issues.
*See the world renouwn specialist in leaks to get his thoughts and opinions on Mark's leak issues. (this is scheduled for Thursday)
*Continue to monitor all symptoms and issues in a daily journal.
*See neurosurgeon for a follow-up which will take all these pieces and determine if surgery is the right move. (I think this apt is a week from Monday).

Although we were very frustrated with this plan of action, we also are looking at God's hand in it all. If we do indeed have surgery then our stuff (aka Mark's bed) will be here by then. It will be nice to bring him home to his things and his own bed while he's recovering from brain surgery. We also know that we've had this apt with the specialist in CSF leaks for awhile. Perhaps his thoughts and opinions will be a key to unlocking the mystery behind all this. We also are now in the "system" so if something happens again there won't be any work-up involved. He will have the surgery almost immediately (provided he's stable).

So we are waiting. We are waiting and hopeful. It is painful and it isn't easy, but God's timing is PERFECT. He has promised to take care of us. So we will choose to believe that there is a perfect reason that we need to wait right now. We will choose to praise the Lord while we wait, and to trust Him with our lives.

Painful Day

Mark was in a lot of pain today, even with the pain meds they were giving him. The girls and I visited for awhile during the day today and now Travis is down with him. I know the doctor came in while Travis was there, but I think they had some more questions, so we probably will have a more complete update tomorrow.

So in the meantime I thought I'd take some time to update on the rest of the family....
Eliya - has been enjoying telling everyone about the fact that she is 'an artist' as she likes to say. She also decided to join the ranks of having to go to the doctor in the family by hurting her hip the other day. Thankfully nothing was broken and the doctor gave her a steroid to help with inflamation, and she seems to be doing much better. The doctor had said to keep her lying down and resting till it felt better. We knew she must be hurting when she took a day and stayed in bed all day, but on the reassuring aside we knew she was much better when she got back to skipping, jumping, running and playing again!

Gabie - cracks us up with her funny sayings all the time. The other day she got a drink from Travis and said "thanks brother from another mother!" and when asked where she came up with that she said "Santa!" She has been wanting to grow her hair out like her big sister, which makes us a little sad since her little bob cut was so fitting of her personality, but we want her to be her own person too.

Rachel - has declared herself a little texan with her pink cowboy boots - haha! She is still doing great at the being potty trained and only needs a pull-up at night now - yay for that! She is also enjoying doing homeschool with her sisters - I'm so impressed with the amount of maturing she has done in a short time as she will sit and do coloring and writing now. She is turning into quite the young lady.

Micaiah - is a babbling, crawling, pulling-up, standing, 2 teeth and working on more, busy little girl! I'm watching her as I write this standing holding onto a basket full of her toys as she reaches in to pick out different ones and push buttons. She also is enjoying getting to try more and more foods each day. She loves anything mixed with oatmeal!

and me - many of you have asked how my breaks have been and I can happily report that I am doing much better. In fact I went for a run this evening even! Otherwise I'm just busy taking care of the family. I am so thankful and grateful to have my family here because they are doing so much to help me out with my normal 'duties' like laundry, cooking and cleaning since Mark's been in the hospital.

As always we commit our lives, our family and our future to the Lord -
"In you, LORD, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness. Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me. Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me. Keep me free from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge. Into your hands I commit my spirit; deliver me, LORD, my faithful God." Psalm 31:1-5
We continue to pray that God would deliver Mark from his pain, and while we wait we trust in Him.

Would dare to believe?

We saw Dr. Shephard a couple of times today and saw quite a few residents. They all come in individually and then get together to 'discuss' and then the attending (Dr. S) comes and gives the final report or synopsis. Well, I know they had a chance to review everything, but Dr. Shephard was held up in surgery this evening so we didn't get the final thoughts from him yet. Even though this may sound frustrating, we are actually looking at this as a blessing. The surgeon takes his surgeries seriously and takes his time. He also goes home and gets rest when he needs to - this is great news to us. Because when he is operating on Mark we want Mark to be his priority and we want to know that he's had plenty of rest. So we are thankful to have this reassurance right now. So we don't know when surgery is, but the resident did report this evening that they do believe the leaks are taken care of (I'm hoping this was Dr. Shephard's thoughts too).

I know it is frustrating for many of you out there that we don't have more answers and we don't have answers sooner. Please believe that we know that we aren't in a bubble in this. We know that what we are going through is affecting so many other lives out there. We know that St. Paul's has had to go without their shepherd, we know that Mark's family is anxiously awaiting news in MN, we know that we have lots of other friends and family all over that care so much and are praying daily for us. I challenge you all to dare to believe that we still have a reason to sing! The pain right now that you may be going through (whether you have a physical pain, emotional , or otherwise) can't compare to the joy that's coming! And God promises to hear us. The joy that is coming is heaven, but He also promises to be with us and hear us while we are still one earth. Our God is not a God that sits somewhere up on his throne immune to our suffereing here on earth. He walks with us. He knows our pain and hears our cries. In Psalm 27 it says "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." (v. 13-14) We will see His goodness here! And while we wait we take heart. I wish I could understand why Mark has to suffer so, but I believe that God has a greater purpose in all this then what we will ever know. We appreciate your continued prayers and for sticking with us on this journey. Love to you all, goodnight.

1 Step Forward, 2 Steps Back

Well, the title isn't the most accurate, because I can't say that we've really gone backwards - but some of our good news from yesterday may be diminished a bit. We were so excited to hear that the leaks seemed to have stopped, but that may not be true. The doctor said that because the scan is so short they can't fully get the picture. They want to compare this mylogram to the previous ones to see if the possible leaks (or where the sacks of fluid are building) are in the same place or if this is just the disruption of the fluid. Once they compare they can determine if they want to do more fiber/glue/blood patches before the surgery. If they aren't going to do the patches then surgery will most likely be the end of this week. If they are going to do more patches it will more likely be next week.

The good news is that even if they are still leaks they have been 'helped' by the previous patches so we will praise God for that. Also this doctor does not believe in doing nerve cut/tie procedure. He said he'd rather do 50 blood patches, so we praise the Lord for that as well!

Once the doctor compares all the scans we should be able to schedule the surgery. If it is this week Mark will likely stay in the hospital, if it is postponed to have patches done he may be released until surgery. We will just have to see if he remains stable. His blood pressure, heart rate and oxygen levels drop while he's sleeping, although a decrease is normal, his is quite pronounced and we also still have a hard time waking him from time to time. The reason for this is that he has severe sleep apnea because when we sleep the brain stem is taking over some of those functions and his isn't connecting too well (because of the chiari and flow, etc.). There are more and more symptoms each day and others are becoming more pronounced. Their concern with keeping him in the hospital too long is the risk for infection and getting sick from all the sick people there. So we will just pray that they can do the surgery as soon as possible and that he will remain healthy in the meantime (as far as sickness goes, I realize with all the issues I've described he doesn's sound 'healthy' but I hope I'm making sense).

We had some prescious family time this evening. The girls and I had a supper picnic with Mark in his room. We treasure the moment we have together! Thank you for all your continued prayers and concern. Love to you all!

Another Mylogram

I think Mark is getting to be old hat at the mylogram thing (interestingly enough something we'd never even heard of until a few months ago). They came around 10 a.m. to take him for it. He returned to the room a little after 12. Dr. Oh came and talked to us after he got back, that he would be sending him on to their neurosurgeon that specializes in chiari malformations, who had reviewed and agreed to take on Mark's case, a Dr. Shepherd.......
Can anyone see me grinning right now??? For 2 reasons - one for the little silly notion of a neurosurgeon on Grey's Anatomy, but also a happy grin that God chose a moment when we were needing His reassurance that He is still here and controlling it all to use a name that He also uses to describe Himself to us! God is our shepherd, guiding every moment and detail of our lives.

So back to the mylogram. The results seemed to show that there does not appear to be leaks - however his pressure was still quite low. There are pockets of fluid forming in different areas - they believe this is all due to the chiari issues that is causing a disruption in the flow of spinal fluid. But the good news is that the leaks seem to not be an issue! Praise the Lord!!!! If you read my earlier post, if he did still have leaks we were looking at more blood patches, but also the possibility of having to cut and tie off nerves that would obviously cause some permanent damage - so we are thrilled that that doesn't have to take place.

We also found out today that the cerebellum tonsils did indeed slip further down (probably would caused the spiral down for Mark over the past few days). They consider it to be a problem once they've reached 3-5mm, we now know that Mark's is around 10mm.

Dr. Shepherd will be in tomorrow to do over things wtih us and we'll see where we go from here.

Thank you for the continued prayers! I have been sitting here this evening counting all of our blessings. Thank you for blessing us with your prayers for our family! Your emails and comments touch my heart so much. I am so thankful so many of you have taken the time to express words of comfort and love to us. Interestingly, we have many people express "I don't know how you do it." The answer is - we don't, we couldn't and we haven't. We are nothing without the one who gives us strength. Our strength rises as we wait upon the Lord!

On a separate note - some dear friends of ours our helping us to get more of our things. We have been staying with my sister and her husband in their 2 bedroom house. However, our stay here is becoming more and more a long-term process. They are expecting a baby, and our girls need to be able to sleep in beds again and not on the floor. My parents bought a house here for us to use while we are here and the Weidners are putting together a packing/moving party for more of our stuff. If you can and are willing to help with this in any way (providing boxes, packing, loading, gas $, etc.) please let me know and I will put you in touch with them. Thank you for prayerfully considering this - we appreciate you all so much! The dates would be this coming weekend (7, 8, 9) and the weekend of the 21-23.

Snuggle Time

Micaiah and daddy taking a nap together - they are such good snuggle buddies.

Another Day at TMC

Micaiah and I spent the day at the hospital with Mark today. He was doing well. I think the thing I appreciate the most is that they are being so proactive about his pain management, and not letting it get too bad before they give him more. Tomorrow we should get the mylogram scheduled and then hopefully find out soon after that when surgery will be. The neurosurgeon on Mark's case actually will not be the one to do the surgery - or at least not the only one. He has done the surgery before, but said that because of Mark's difficult and unique case he would be more comfortable giving it to one of his colleagues with more expertise in his particular issues and someone who has done a lot more of those types of surgeries. He is a wonderful doctor - we both really like him and appreciate his thoughts, honesty and bedside manner.

I am so thankful that Mark is in a place where they are taking such good care of him. We have been so blessed by his care there - and we pray that his stay can be as short as possible with the maximum amount of healing as possible during that time!

Visiting Daddy for the First Time

Happy New Year!

Much Better

Mark is doing much better now. They are overall controlling his pain with meds and he was even able to get up and take a shower. His body is still not strong, but after all he has been through we are just so thankful that he doing well and able to smile and chat with us. They have him on the neuroscience acute and and intermediate floor where he has his own room. The girls are allowed to go in on this floor so they were able to see him today and that really seemed to brighten his day. We also don't have to gown/glove/mask up to go see him so we were able to just hang out.

The girls were so well behaved, we enjoyed stories and some quiet games in his room and stayed for a few hours. Tomorrow I will go in extra early so that I can be there when the doctors round on him. From what the nurse has told me they want to do a mylogram before proceeding with surgery - which will hopefully be on Monday. As to when surgery is will depend on what the mylogram shows - as I said yesterday he may need some procedures and/or surgery for the leaks before we proceed with the decompression. The main thing that the doctors are struggling with is are the leaks causing the chiari issues or are the chiari issues causing the leaks. The answer to this will have a large impact on how well he can get and how much this will continue to affect him. (and we may never really know the answer....)

Although that concludes the health update for the day, I cannot close w/out commenting on the outpouring of love we are receiving - first and foremost from friends and family. When I went on fb last night to put a brief update I noticed how many friends were posting our blog and encouraging others to lift our family up in prayer. Thank you so much! We have had so many prayers, comments, messages from people we haven't talked to in years and even people we have never met! We are so blessed by you all! Thank you so much for all your thoughts, prayers, concern, notes, cards and love. We praise God for you all!